in and out

ah

I sit here with my tea,
my adorable little red notebook (net book?)
and I am drawing one big, overwhelmingly humongous blank.

see, the thing is
I am alone.
actually alone.

for a homeschooling mother with a nursing toddler I can tell you that this doesn't happen very often.

I have a pile of laundry to put away (don't mind washing it, or folding it but it never seems to get put away)
and I know that I would feel very good seeing a clean room
with empty baskets
but I would like to blog.

so, here I am with nothing to say.
no inspiring words.
just breathing in and out.
and letting my fingers type.

my ginger tea warms me on this dreary day
and I see the mug as half full.

I am not always a half full kind of person

but today I am
this was a nice day.

we have finished a full month of school
the roller coaster has been up, way up
and down

waaa
a
a

aaa
aaa
y

down.

we always start september with expectations,
to learn lots and have fun fun fun!
but with (my) expectations come
over scheduled days,
and way too many workbooks (will I ever learn?)

so.
where do you go once the roller coaster stops?

well, that's easy
you jump off and run as fast as you can to get in line for the next wild ride!

I am quite sure I won't get on here to write for another week or so,
it seems to be my pattern.
lots of wonderful and wild things will happen around here from now until then
probably involving food, and baby poop, friends, books, music, clothing, nature, paint and clay, cuddles and... well... lets face it, more baby poop
you know, all that life stuff
I will have no time to document it,
and when I finally do I will have very little to say

but
that is life, is it not?
a lot of regular stuff
in with some fancy fun now and then
a fight or two to upset things
but loads of forgiveness
smiles
collapsing exhausted on the couch with my spouse once the kids are asleep
but saving just enough of myself for those last hours of the day.
a moment to reflect
to connect
and to imagine the possibilities of the following day