30

woke up to breakfast in bed from my eight year old pixie.
angels singing to me and jumping on me.
love.
cocoa quinoa puffed cereal with delicious raw milk.
and a muffin.
some new chapstick. and a new cd.

ingrid michaelson.
if you haven't heard this girl go have a listen

first song that came on said what i was feeling today.

I woke up this morning with a funny taste in my head
Spackled some butter over my whole grain bread
Something tastes different, maybe it's my tongue
Something tastes different, suddenly I'm not so young

I'm just a stranger, even to myself
A re-arranger of the proverbial bookshelf

and so, with my cup of coffee and my babies around me i welcome this day...this year...this decade...ready to embrace...
hello life.

are you missing someone today?
someone living.
someone passed.
is someone on your heart, but out of sight?

i miss my baby brother today.
he is across the pond in Ireland for the year.
i am so excited for him, that he is there, but I can't help but ache to see him.

you know those people that always make your day better when you seen them. whether you were having a good day already, or it was one of those you would rather leave - that person enters it and your day is instantly taken up a level.

i miss my husband.
he just left for work.
he is only 15 minutes away. and I can talk to him on the phone at any time.
but i still miss him.

you know those people that you are around constantly and never get sick of. you are so use to being with them you feel strange and a bit empty when you are not.

i miss my paternal grandfather.
i never met him. he died years before i was even born.
i miss knowing him. i wonder what it would feel like to have him look into my eyes and smile at me. hug me.


you know that person you have heard all the stories about? you know that if you could just meet them you would get along swimmingly. one more person in your life to love. is it even possible to miss the unknown? or is that another emotion all together?

i am not sad today. i didn't mean for this post to sound so.
i am just missing some people.....
does that mean i am sad.
does missing = sorrow?
no
but I do have three kisses for three men i can't presently kiss.

i better go plant them on my babies!

(who are you missing today?)

death by comparison.

I am dying a very slow death. in some terrible way it is more like a suicide at times.
little by little, each day, I compare.
I compare myself.
to others
to you.
and every now and then I am blessed with the passing ability to recognise it.
and for a moment of that day I am free.
free to be me.
to know in faith that I am loved by God.
free to trust that I am trying to do the best I can.
and that I have no ones life to live but mine.
what others choose to do, or are able to do, with their life, is a wonderful inspiring thing.
at times.
but often, theses are the thoughts I carry around all day...

her garden is greener,
her children are cleaner.
she is more creative
she is so innovative
her jokes are funnier
her food is yummier
she keeps her house so clean
she is so very lean
I wish that I could be more like her.
but she would never want to be me.

so there. there it is. the silent killer.
comparison.

it isn't always this way.some days, when I choose to believe my loving husband when he says I am amazing, I don't worry about what others are able to do.
some days I am okay with the fact that I don't make my own clothes or bake everyday.
and so, to you also, my friends.
know that you are amazing.
you are worthy.
a gorgeous child of God
what you are able to do is great.
what you wish you could do is also great.
but don't beat yourself down, with the blunt hammer of comparison.

comparison leads to jealousy
jealousy leads to judgment
judgment leads to disdain
disdain leads to anger
anger leads to death.


live.
choose life.
let the Spirit guide your thoughts.
love.
choose love.
believe the good things that are said about you.
laugh
choose laughter
affirm someone else, and really mean it.

I invite you now to say out loud one thing you are good at, or enjoy, something that makes you feel special - and when you say it, out loud, don't think about whether or not someone else in your life is better at that thing....concern yourself with you.

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.....
........
..........
..............

there, did you say it?

"I am good at reading with character voices to my children, it makes them laugh"


there, I said it.



and God said "it is good"


xoxo

I hope you enjoyed July.
she is that dear friend that we only see once a year. but the time spent together is cherished. new memories made.
today is peaceful. I am spoiled by my new net book. by the fact that I have the chance to sit out on the deck and reflect. the trees grow up around me, swaying with the warm zephyr that is hanging around to play today.
we were down at the water this morning. my skin is still warm from the sand and sun. I have grown less afraid of the sun the past years. I love to think of the vitamin D my body is soaking up, rather than the possible skin cancer. I feel stronger after being in the sun. a bit like superman.
two of the children have gone off together to pick raspberries r. the baby will devour them with glee after his nap. and my oldest sits beside me reading a book. freshly washed laundry is baking in the sun.
I can hear people playing on the lake, in boats and such. calling to each other. squealing with joy.
Evenings are made up of card games and camp fires. we all sleep well. we are worn out from happiness.
and so she rolls by, july. I know that she will be gone, sooner than I would like of course. but like that friend that I see once a year. we live in the moment we have. we cherish the heat, the fresh produce, the dirty, shoeless feet and the laughs.....oh the laughs.

new home

we have been here for just over a month.
I fully intend to start a blog about the whole endeavor.
holla if you have lived with your in-laws.
AHH YAAAAAA
I bet mine are better than yours.

seriously though.
I have to admit that there have been moments that I didn't think this whole set up could work. but things are going really well.....I think.
we are happy.....as far as I can tell.

things have been constant and there is hardly a dull moment (so that when there is one it is very welcome!) and I want you all to know (I write that as if anyone actually reads this) that the adventure has just begun.

check back for exciting updates on our wonderfully entertaining daily life.

library love

Do you know your librarians by name?
Do your librarians know your name?

When we told the kids we were moving my daughter sobbed. THe only thing that cheered her up was finding out the the city we were moving to had 30 branches of the library.
Thirty - she could barely fathom it.
THen the questions;
"Does that mean we have 30 library cards?"
no honey, just one
"ONE card works for all 30 libraries?!"
"How do I get a card"
you have to prove you live in the city
"How?"
you give them your new address
"Then the librarian comes to your house to make sure you really live there?"
no, not quite. you just show them a hydro bill or something.
YOu know sweetie, they aren't going ot know us by name the way they do now. It is different in the city...

The potential of 30 branches out weighed the possibility of an impersonal library for her. I am not convinced yet.

Our librarians did know us by name. They knew what sort of books my kids liked, even what their favorite colours were. They asked how we had spent the weekend were excted to see us back after we went on holiday. My children's art was up on the walls.They let me know when books were added to the used book sale and they didn't need to ask for our card number for renewals.

We have now traded personal interaction for the convenience of self checkout.

If you are blessed to know your librarians, how many kids they have, what they like to read - appriciated it!
Make a point of bringing them cookies, flowers, home made thank you cards. You may even get your own thankyou are back from them (after you move and have to pay your overdue fines ;) ) that says you were one of their favorite families. Isn't it wonderful when the feeling is mutual.

I want to close with a little ditty my 7 year old daughter wrote about books ;

Books are wonderful
Some books are exciting and some books are sad.
Some books are happy.
There are lots of books in the world so....pick a book and read.
Books are a big part of my life.
They are fun.
I love books.


and if you are looking for some new titles to read to your little ones, here are a few of our favorites - go find them at your library!
The Biggest Bed in the World
Rattlebang Picnic
How to Make and Apple Pie and See the World

(and I have hundreds more suggestions if you need any...)

can we be honest here?

as I attempt to flee facebook, a little like Lot, trying not to look back for fear of turning into a pathetic pile of friendless salt
I come here to feel I have some sort of internet presence.
because, well, won't the world stop turnig once I stop posting my witty status updates....?

didn't think so.

but a girl can dream right?!?!

so, as was my intention in starting this blog in the first place, I come here to speak.
express myself.
keep you all up to date on the glamorous life of a twenty something homeschooling mother of four.
without facebook I hope to be more motivated (and have more time) to post here.

so here is the honesty part.

I am typing standing up.
holding a grumpy babe in the sling.
glass of wine just out of reach.
and I wish this day was over.

the hot water tank has stopped working.
(cold showers don't go over well with nine year old boys by the way)
and our housemates (my in-laws) are out of the country so we can't really make any major decisions tonight.
that is probably a good thing.

this wasn't really a bad day.
but just full
too full for my liking.
I like things to be simple and run smoothly.
I like to not worry about water heaters and septic tanks and I like the days when my kids are all angels best.
but,
where would I be without the crazy bedtimes and the dirty slings, the perma-grunge on the floor.
please be honest and tell my you have had these sort of days. not horrible.
just
too
full



now excuse me as I lay down my baby. I blogged him to sleep.