a brother uncle/ Feb 2008

"sometimes after Sean leaves from visiting
I feel like I am floating in outter space- without a jet pack
so I can't get anywhere..."

~Daniel Everett

how is it that my six year old can express his feelings in such a beautiful sciencefictionay way as to make me say "yes, that is exactly how I feel"
except not just when Sean leaves, but all those I love.

you have to admit Daniel has come a long way from the crying screaming melt downs he use to have when Sean walked out the door, he is much more poetic these days...

we were recently talking about how times flies, how Sean use to be Daniel, ...the little guy who use to run to me each day as I got off the bus from school, the little boy I missed so much while away at college that all I ever wanted to do was come home and visit . the boy who I had to stop picking up and carrying around once I was pregnant with my own child, Sean was about ten at the time...I guess ten year olds don't need to be carried around really anyways...

now Sean is, well, much taller then me, and in a couple more years will be out on his own...and Daniel will be the "big cousin" that everyone climbs on...weird.

I need to get a jet pack

air drums in the van

couch buddies at Christmas

everyone's favorite uncle (sorry other uncles - you are all tied for a close second though...)

always willing to play

always willing to love

Written Feb 2008

"Raising children is presented at first as a true-false test, then
becomes multiple choice, until finally, far along, you realize that it
is an endless essay."

Anna Quindlen,
Newsweek Columnist and Author


I like this.
I can't even count the number of times I thought maybe we were doing it all "wrong".... I see now after a few years of trying to get it "right" that there are so many ways to raise a child.
Each child deserves to be raised as an individual,
we try our best to do what is "the right
way"
and it's hard,
but wonderful, so wonderful to watch a child grow!

Three children call me Mama.
Each of them with different needs and desires.
I pray for the strength to know how to give them each what they need.
to show them the right kind of love
to work together with their Dada in showing true love, and confidence, forgiveness, patience, kindness, compassion and faith.

Writing three essays at once is time consuming! But I am in no rush to be done.
If I don't have time to do this with my children, will they have time for me?
I thank God for the proof readers in my life, our parents and incredible siblings, cousins and so many wonderful friends. For your encouragement, wisdom, support, and love. Know that I am always here for you the same way you have been for me. AN d of course praise God for my writing partner Darryl! Who is by far the most creative and patient, loving, and hilarious person I know. The father of our family, the one who first brought the joy.

I hope to finish our essays with a smile on my face, and (at least ;) ) three pairs of once little arms around my shoulders, loving me despite any failures, loving me because I tried my best to love them.

Thank you God
forever thank you.

christmas goofs

like darry in so many ways...except one loves to mow the lawn and the other hates it.

Sora our sweet love

planting one on mom...
still doesn't mind kissing his mommy on the lips.

Evita our little treasure

Auntie Alisha with Daniel

Grandma Patti with our kids and the other "big" cousin, Erik.

our darling Kai

Della Sunshine

Gabriel our "first love" and Joshua and Jasmine.

Clark's quote of the day; · September 28th, 2008

"I airbended my snot back in my nose!"


someone has been watching a bit too much Avatar...

ahhhhhhh FrEaK oUt!!!

how can I be such a utter failer at everything I do?
today ends lacking.
it lacked that patience I told myself to have.
the love
the honesty.

I feel totally under a large blanket of pressure.
a spirtiual attack?
perhaps.
yes
but I can't blame my behavior on others.
cant' say the devil made me do it.
I know that only I can make me do.

and I let it all happen today.

but,
children are so loving
so forgiving

I recognize my critical nature comes from the home I grew up in.
and yet I am *fairly* well adjusted and secure.
so too, I hope, my children will look back and see the joy
the love
the fun times.

please don't hang on the mistakes.
please know that under the freak out loose it mom is an I love you more than words can express mom
you are worthy
and beautiful.

friday night

thus far this blog has not been what i had intended, and hoped for it to be. for one i didn't intend to sound so negative. things are pretty great in my life - my marriage is strong, i am very much in love with my best friend, who happens to be my husband, i have four healthy beautiful children that i am blessed to be able to stay home with and homeschool them, and i live in a wonderufl country. but i think maybe that the problems is i come to write and always seem to get , what is that thing...oh yes, writers block. planning out ahead of time seems to defeat the purpose of blogging...but i had wanted this to be so much more....one of those inspiring homemade toys and organic food sort of mommy blogs. ha. if there is even a single soul out there who has read this, i just want to say hi. that is all.

I figure that if I just come here often enough I will eventually have something meaningful to say.
Today was good. Had a pretty good school day with the kids amids the mess of the kitchen renos. We had fun learning about joints and listened to a l0t 0f Christmas music.
hmm Christmas.

any shiney surface

baby on the lap

funny how you can become good at something as long as you do it often enough...practice practice practice. Typing and nursing is my newest talent.

Advent began yesterday. What a wonderful time of year this is! But how utterly overwhelmed I am feeling today. The kitchen is covered in fresh drywall. It has been an ongoing project for going on 2 years now! I am thankful for every bit that gets done , and all the people that have helped, but the complete upheaval it brings to our house is, well, draining. All I really want to be doing today is blasting the Nutcracker music and dancing around with my daughter.
You know when there is just so much to do you feel best doing nothing...or is that just me.
So here I am, sitting down at the computer to write to no one, during the precious time that the baby is asleep and I should really be somewhere else....